


the moon pleaded

by yugkookisreal



Series: blood clots [2]
Category: haikyuu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Confusion, Everyone Needs A Hug, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Minor Violence, Oikawa Tooru is a Mess, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 10:31:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yugkookisreal/pseuds/yugkookisreal
Summary: the moon pleaded ( to the stars ):  stayoikawa torru did not hunt in a crowded just to die. he's going to live either by making him stay and join the ghoul side or ( dramatic pause ) die.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Series: blood clots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1547809
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	the moon pleaded

**Author's Note:**

> I am not good with chapters at all and so here it is, another one shot in the series in which suga will eventually join the 'ghoul side' or would he? 
> 
> Anyways just know that there's some lashing out in the story.

he doesn't know how it happens, maybe it's the overwhelming thought of loosing his life to an investigetor or to suga but suddenly, he finds himself moving. 

leaping over the bodies, his feet splashing in the bloodied floor as he throws himself into the light to pull the investigetor in the darkness. sugawara let himself be pulled, half stumbling, his already out quinque dragging inside with him. oikawa wonders whose kagune the quinque belonged to, maybe his first kill or ones after and if loosing it would affect him too much. 

the investigetors he had met before were far too attrached to their weapons and once oikawa had noticed that, they all become easy prey to him, falling apart limb from limb as he danced between them.

with his hunger desipated, his thoughts were clearing enough to noticed the horrified expression on suga's face matching his. he was stiff and tense in his hold, easily killed if oikawa wanted it to but his nerves were singing with emotions he didn't want on his face. 

the quinque swishes under him, slithering against his legs causing a shiver to crawl up his spine. suga drops it. "oikawa i-". 

laughter comes from the light, causing both of them to freeze and his fingers to dig a little deeper into suga's flesh. in the tension, oikawa feels suga flinch but otherwise stays still in his hold. 

voices grow louder and oikawa let goes of his arm to inch the woman's body further into the darkness, fearing that those people might come and see the corpse. it would cause trouble for him if he was found out by more then one person , especially people who were too far away from him, stumbling into the eyes of more people then he would like. then he surely would be dead. at least with suga, he might have some chance to turn him away from killing him, after all oikawa was amazing as manipulation and pulling others into his snared trap. 

and if that didn't work... he would have to take other measures even if it would mean loosing suga. 

they watch silently, oikawa waiting for the signs to run. there were many factors which could pull them out in the open, the stinking smell of rotting blood, the crimson blood floating in clots in the dirty alley floor. oikawa is ready to run, to vanish in the night at the littlest of signs. 

his hand tightens on suga's. oikawa isn't going to let him go that easily. the other doesn't flinch this time, but his heart beat picks up thudding against his chest. he swallows, his adam apple bobbing. the smell of blood pumping through his veins, too close to him feels intoxicating. being with suga is intoxicating, his heart a constant reminder that his skin could easily break under his teeth and hurt him. 

the noises go louder and a group walks into the light. they're drunk, he can smell the bitter scent from amongst the blood and suga. he wrinkles his nose, drunks smell and taste like rotten tomatoes to him, completely undesirable. 

he watches until they vanish and the noises grow smaller and smaller, the group fading away in the background of music and laughter. 

"let go". it's then suga whispers, probably having come out of his shock in finding his year old boyfriend to be nothing but a public enemy. a ghoul and nothing more then that, a predator without consciousness. 

his voice comes out scratchy, still surprised around the corners. still oikawa doesn't let go and instead pushes the quinque away from him, grasping at both his hands like they're back in college and oikawa's dragging him to see cherry blossoms. the sweet smell of his blood wafts in the air. he's afraid, his twinkling eyes give him away - for himself or because of him being a monster, oikawa doesn't know. "_let go torru_". 

oikawa doesn't let go, even when suga struggles in his hold. instead he lets go of his kagune, letting the cells surge back into him and leaving tears in his shirt and jacket. right now he's doesn't care about the clothes or the blood which crusts on the cloth, he simply doesn't want to loose suga. the investigetor could ruin everything he had built to secure his life in the world of mortals. 

suga freezes, his eyes fixated on the crimson muscle shimmering purple in the darkness. at the way the muscle breaks through his skin like better, at his eyes and the blue and red veins webbing down his cheeks like fiery tears spearing through his skin or electric wires glittering in the night sky. 

"no". he finally says. and pulls it back in, the glowing leaving darkness to envolpe its place. when suga doesn't say anything, he hums in satisfaction. at least now suga would know to not do anything rash, that even if he meant something to him oikawa still wasn't far from protecting himself. 

he throws a glance at the kagune laying forgotten in a bloody puddle, pulling suga with him as he reached to pick it up. leaving it or letting suga at it would cause trouble he rather not get himself into. he puts it back in its 0lace, keeping an eye on suga to see if he was doing something wrong. if the suitcase sprung open in the middle and the weapon drops out- everything was a game of big, gigantic ifs. if suga would try and run, if oikawa would have to hurt him, if they'll manage to get back. "let's go home".

this time suga doesn't pull away and let's oikawa to lead him into the open and through the crowd. they don't talk, the truth baring them from breaking the ominous silence which they had created themselves. oikawa didn't want that, he didn't want to threaten suga to keep silent and risk their relationship to fall apart. he didn't want to loose suga and if was nothing but a dream by now. 

his partner dragged his feet beside him, throwing furtive glances around them. he wondered what suga was feeling right now, finding such a horrible secret in such a way with him drenched in blood. "i can run, you wouldn't be able to stop me. investigators stand at every corner and they're going to notice that I'm gone". 

oikawa doesn't answer him right away and instead throws him a warward smile, twisting through the crowd until he nears another alley. it leads directly into a nest of turns- leading to their apartment. by now his hand is sweating but still he doesn't loose his hold, his nails digging into soft skin. suga feels vulnerable, smelling of fear and anger. it's quite easy to discern with his blood thru ming too loudly in his veins. "you can try". he says. "my love". 

the endearment leaves his mouth without thinking, causing suga to flinch, his eyes widening and his heart to stummer. he wonders if suga would try his luck now. 

he doesn't. he just stumbles. 

they vanish into the alleys minutes later, the loud noises dissolving into background noise and the streetlights decreasing into low hanging bulbs and blinking lights. it's easy to loose oneself and others in a place like this, so deep into the japanese capital and its glamor. tokyo is possibly the most ghoul populated city in the whole island but still humans prowl the streets like they own them. it makes his blood boil. 

they don't stumble into anyone else during their journey for oikawa is grateful about because if they had koushi would've started pulling away from him and make a show about it. he would do anything to make oikawa leave him but they need to do something. at least talk things through. 

"why did you keep it a secret ?". suga asks. was he thinking out out or genually asking such a stupid question? oikawa takes a deep breath, qualling his tongue shut. snark wasn't what the needed right now. 

he knows suga was angry partially because of him keeping such a big secret but what was he supposed to do. regretfully he had fallen for an investigator and telling him could mean life or death. and so what he didn't trust suga with such a thing, it was something he had to hide for years after all and coming out was even worse then coming out of the closet. 

and suga was supposed to be intelligent, why couldn't he think the answers himself?

"you tell me". he spoke bitterly, biting his tongue instantly until blood filled his mouth. he shouldn't have said that, not yet. not until they were not in the open and he could say what he truly wanted to say. that at times he had been desperate to tell him, beg him to stay with him even if he was a monster. that at times he would starve himself for months, hoping that maybe just maybe a mircale wouldn't make him suga's prey anymore. or at times he'll choke out food, not at all mindful of whatever he shoved in his mouth to hope that maybe that will make him more human. more suitable for suga to be with, for suga to not feel scared or threatened of. 

there were many more things he had always left unsaid, things he will never say or hope will never leave his mouth. speeches and words which made his blood boil, to grab suga and show him how much of a predator he was. but he will never do that, that notion is far too horrible for him to think with suga. 

they're inside their apartment and oikawa is locking the door behind him before he registers it. his hold on the suitcase still hasn't loosened and suga glances at it with more fever. was he seriously going to kill him without any remorse? oikawa expected him to at least hesitate but maybe he was wrong. 

maybe he was wrong about everything. 

oikawa turns to him then. "now koushi i need you to listen and not -". 

but before he could finish his sentence, suga had pushed himself away from him, scrambling towards the kitchen. how a knife is going to help him against a ghoul, he doesn't know but to his astonishment he lets him be dragged forward. it would make things a little bit easier if suga would understand that. 

after all he didn't seem to be thinking much right now, working on fumes of whatever emotion he felt justified everything. 

and when suga moves to stab him, oikawa let's him do it and watchs the metal bend and break and his lover stumble backwards. did he expect him to be shocked by it? 

they stare at each other then, suga panting and his eyes darting and oikawa silent, appearing bored. he wasn't going to let suga see his inner turmoil - his anger and shock to be proven right. the red frustration bubbling in his stomach didn't help either, his mouth tasting of stale blood as he nearly grimaced at the irony of the situation. 

hating investigors and thinking of them wearing his kin like trophies and then dating one wasn't something he would've ever done. the possibilities of suga leaving were high and having been proven true wasn't something he liked very much. 

the silence swells and deflates as suga opens his mouth. no words come out and oikawa waits for him to speak, his eyes stuck on the familiar way suga's lips move. he wants him to speak, to listen to him and accept him and same time he doesn't. having a human relationship was better then a investigator one -especially with suga whose actions spoke louder then his silence. 

he doesn't know when he changes the distance between them. maybe it's the anger coming to the surface, all the frustration and sadness pouring out of him rivets or maybe it's the monster inside him rearing his head again muttering food food food like a mantra in his head. 

but he wants to press it directly it down, hide himself yet -

"_i loved you_". 

torru moves, slamming suga against the fridge. the large machine shakes at the contact, suga choked gasp ending with a groan seems rings in the silent apartment. his heart thrums, with an unnamed emotion he fears will be joy. the monster is happy, but still the mantra continues. he wasn't going to enjoy to what extent he'll go if it meant hurting his lover. or ex lover. he doesn't know, the words left unsaid could mean everything and nothing at all. was suga still thinking of him like he was or had he instantly changed his mind to a monster, a freak? 

"i'm loved you and I'm sorry". it seems final. koushi hisses out then through the pain, his eyes stormy as he clutched at his stomach. oikawa had let go of him in favor of caging him.

the words, that look he threw him, the pitiful, jumbled look wasn't what oikawa wanted. suga had tried to stab him - he shouldn't even be giving that expression to him anymore. it wasn't fair. 

"you loved me?". words stick in his throat. his emotions aren't something he had ever been able to control and the onslaught he feels is something new to him. he should never have gotten that close. he should've known amid the ghoul unrest, falling under was a possibility. and yet he had hoped, starving himself and poisoning himself and wishing to hold suga close to him and never let go. "was your love that transparent for me?". 

koushi's eyes widen. "_no_. i -". emotions flicker in his almond eyes open and bare. oikawa has never seen him that way before, looking uncertain and unsure of his steps before. "i loved the man who i felt never lied to me, who i thought was human. i loved you because of the mask he wore - how am i supposed to know everything we had wasn't a lie?". 

"you know what the academy taught me, ghouls are manipulative liars, that you should always be careful, that ghouls are charmers until they corner you and feast on you. how am i supposed to think of you now, oikawa? when the world has taught me nothing but to hate you". 

he falls silent, his words leaving a bad aftertaste in his mouth. oikawa swallows. the anger leaves him tired and confused and with suga looking at him for answer, he has nothing to say. 

suga takes it in a stride and closes the distance between them. everything seems to evaporate and he can't think. the monster is silent and the calloused hand tentively touching his cheek has him subconsciously leaning into him. it's too easy falling back into the routine, forgetting that everything is now in the open and suga doesn't know how to feel about him and he's just approaching him to check his palatablilty. 

this weak, suga might kill him. 

the thought makes him freeze before he wrenches himself away from him. oikawa steels his resolve. 

suga follows him with his eyes and oikawa sighs, sagging against the countertop. "i'm not going to eat you koushi".

the tension leaves his shoulders at the words and oikawa wonders how much he truly trusted his words without meaning too. suga winces, rubbing at his shoulder as he moves towards the discarded weapon. 

oikawa feels himself tense, ready to pounce, ready to do something but suga only pushes the suitcase in the corner with care. he gingerly looks up, hazel eyes gazing up at him. 

and somehow he finds himself speaking, words casual but still laces with hesitance. "i lied to you because of a reason but i never sprung you along. i wouldn't have gone through all this trouble with bringing you home if you didn't mean anything to me, koushi". 

suga pulls himself up, shrugging of his jacket with difficulty - he might have pushed him hard enough to leave a bruise anyways - and turns towards him. he nods. 

and that's it, tension which had been thick in the dissapes a little and the ichiness of things left unsaid floats in the air. but it's alright right now because oikawa is tired and the life which had felt dead for a second had lessened a bit. 

**Author's Note:**

> Odd end but it was leading into far more bigger chapter and I am not writing five thousand words in a one shot / chapter.
> 
> Have a great day and take care of yourself because you're only one who can change your life!


End file.
